Working With a Wedding Coordinator
By Glenna Tooman
You're engaged! How exciting! But now comes the hard part - planning your
wedding and reception. You want the day to be special, to reflect you and your
fiancé's personalities, to be a special time of celebration with family and
friends, but how and where do you begin? Begin by engaging the services of a
wedding coordinator.
Why Hire a Wedding Coordinator?
The reasons for hiring a coordinator are numerous.
- Perhaps your mother, sister, or another close relative or friend
doesn't live nearby, or if she does, her time is already full. Your fiancé
should be involved in planning the wedding, but there are some areas of the
planning that are better understood by another woman. That means that you
are on your own to plan your big day. Just the thought of making so many decisions
can be overwhelming. When you engage the services of a coordinator to help
you, she should become your trusted friend, someone to bounce ideas off, to
help you make the decisions that are right for you and your circumstances.
- Coordinators are familiar with the merchants in your community.
Your coordinator knows the types of food different caterers specialize in.
She knows where to find special items that you really want to personalize
your wedding. She knows the most reliable professionals and she also knows
those you should avoid. She can help you make the right decisions for your
wedding.
- Every wedding location has its own unique features. Because
the coordinator knows the attributes of many of the locations where weddings
are held in your area, she can save you money by recommending a combination
of services that will best fit your location, whether you choose a lovely
outdoor setting, a church, or another special place.
- Your coordinator will be there on the wedding day to take care
of all the details. She will be sure that the cake is delivered, that the
florist, caterer, and other merchants arrive when they should. And, should
something go wrong, she is there to handle it, allowing you to enjoy your
day without worrying about last minute crises. Depending on the situation,
you may never know about a problem that occurred until after your wedding,
if then.
- Your coordinator will help you plan the rehearsal so that all
the details concerning the ceremony and reception have been carefully thought
through before you arrive at the rehearsal. This saves time and indecision
at the time of the rehearsal.
- At the wedding and reception the coordinator will work closely
with the minister, photographer, musicians, videographer, caterer, and any
others who are a part of the wedding day activities to be certain that the
timing of all activities are coordinated.
Weddings evoke strong emotions and sometimes a tug-of-war between family members
results. A coordinator can be a mediator when problems arise between the bride,
groom, and their families or other important people in their lives. The coordinator
can often recommend a solution that both parties are happy with. She also knows
what is socially acceptable and what isn't, so she can keep you and your loved
ones from making embarrassing mistakes.
Working with your coordinator: You may choose to hire a coordinator to help
you with all of the wedding planning, or you may decide to do your own planning
and only hire a coordinator to help with the rehearsal and the wedding day.
Be aware, however, that not all coordinators are willing to help with only the
rehearsal and wedding day.
However you choose to handle the planning, be sure to inform the coordinator
of all the decisions that you have already made and the names of all merchants
that you have already engaged when you first hire her.
If your coordinator is helping with all of the planning, she should be available
to go with you to meet with merchants, such as the caterer or florist. This
will give you confidence in making decisions and also keep the coordinator informed
of all decisions. If you hire the coordinator to only assist with the rehearsal
and wedding day, she may not go with you to meetings with merchants.
The coordinator and the bride should meet together at the location where the
ceremony and/or reception will be held so that details, including how the wedding
party will enter, where they will stand, locations of serving tables and other
items, can be mutually determined. Don't surprise your coordinator on the day
of the wedding by failing to inform her of changes that you may have made at
the last minute. If you change anything, even as simple as the order in which
the attendants walk in, or the location of the gift or guest book table, be
sure to let her know.
Keep the coordinator informed about your plans for special moments during the
ceremony. Many couples choose to light a unity candle, or the bride may choose
to give her mother and future mother-in-law a flower at the beginning of the
ceremony. The coordinator will need to help you plan these activities into the
processional and work with the photographer to be sure that he or she captures
the moments on film.
If the coordinator is doing any last minute decorating at the reception, such
as setting out centerpieces, lighting candles, or putting up any decorations,
be sure that she has all the necessary items in plenty of time before the reception.
Preferably, the items should be given to the coordinator at the rehearsal or
even earlier.
Trust your coordinator's judgement in handling problems that may occur at the
rehearsal or on the wedding day. Be willing to be flexible. If something needs
to be changed at the last minute (such as cutting the cake before it collapses),
your coordinator will inform you of what needs to be done. Chances are that
no one but you, your fiancé, and the coordinator, and perhaps a couple of other
people, know exactly what you have planned. Your guests will probably never
know that you changed the order of activities for the reception or ceremony.
Don't treat your coordinator like a servant. Instead, treat her like the professional
that she is. She is there to make sure that your wedding goes as smoothly as
possible and to relieve you of stress and frustration. The same goes for others
who are working at the wedding, such as the DJ or musicians, the photographer,
videographer, and others. They will be on their feet for hours at a time, and
that gets very tiring. Be sure that they are invited to have something to eat,
either by going through the buffet line or by ordering dinner for them if you
are having a sit-down dinner. However, no professional who is working at the
wedding should be offered, or encouraged to partake of alcoholic beverages.
You and your coordinator should work together to form a relationship that will
be a positive experience for both of you and one that makes your wedding day
go smoothly, helping you create lasting memories.
© Copyright Glenna Tooman, Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC; all rights reserved
Glenna Tooman is the President of Memory Makers Event Planning, located in Boise, ID.
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